I have been so down in the past month. I have been rejected for yet three more jobs. I have watched my husband and daughter get sick, and paced the floor wondering if they had H1N1. I've watched as clinics turn people away because they ran out of vaccine. I have watched a local election turn the townspeople against the governing body...and the governing body gasped, "we didn't know you all felt that way." (They never bothered to ask...just put it to a vote...and we screamed "NO!")

I've also lay awake nights wondering what I have done wrong. I've stared out into the rain and wondered how long I have. I've paced the floor wondering what more I can do.

The only thing keeping me going is the fact that my oldest blessing is coming here for Christmas. We will be a family again for the last five days of this year, and the first two of next year.

I guess I'll battle the suicide demon after the holidays...

Wishing everyone a safe and happy holiday...hope you all have all of the joy you deserve. Hope for good things and blessings for all of you. Good Luck out there.

Peace and Love,

TJM 

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