REMISSION - 12/11/09

has life been all that you dreamed?
has it left you torn at the seams?
have you emptied your lungs in the form of screams?
as you were ripped to shreds by bad life choices

something has been missing within me
a huge void, a crater the size of the moon
the missing item has been the words, inner peace
cause of my emotional highs and lows
in which i was a puppet to

they controlled me
forcing me into negative places
head... Read More

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This is a Poem about a battle that i recently had with myself when i wanted to cut myself. Cutting for those who are not familiar with it, is a way to release the "demons" so to speak when you are feeling manic. Its not a proper way to act though. I have done it a lot recently and i am trying not to do it anymore however. This Poem outlines that fight.

KILLING - 11/16/09

th silver object is callin
my emotions are fallin
the blade wants to dance
it stands a good cha... Read More

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Journal 2

its the afternoon and the madness is back
i am tired and i feel dizzy
everything looks dark and bleak
my focus equals nothing
nothing is clear
but the notion that i am mentally ill

i have a bad brain
it reminds me that it owns me
every waking moment of the day
it alters my perception of reality
even when i don't want it to
i live in an awake nightmare
its not fair to live this way

everyone wants me to pick up the phone
talk ou... Read More

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BEAR

i am a cute cuddly bipolar bear
i live my life on my small iceberg
i drift through the water alone
my mother left me when i was a cub
my brothers and sisters are all sick in the head
my father is dead

my fur is so nice and soft
but no one pets it
the cold winds graces my face
but this bipolar bear
doesn't feel anything anymore

i stare at pictures of my family
but i don't see myself in the frames
i used to enjoy spending time w... Read More

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a beautiful day arises

but my body is wracked by pain

a small blue pill is full of suprises

without it i will feel insane

the glow moves from head to toe

bitterness and anger melt away

euphoria smoothly takes it's place

at least no dysphoria for today

the pain hurts so much

it takes my mind to dark places

the opiod will rule my life

it controls my mind in such a way

t... Read More

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