i see the world through a blinder

afraid of what is there

my feelings go through a grinder

i wish healing was near

all that's left of me is a shell

i'm a miserable , tired man

for the sins i've commited i belong in hell

i'm quite sure god is not a fan

i'm drained, i'm tired

i'm ashamed of who i am

to pull myself up, my brain is not wired

to put the past behind me i don't think i can

1 comments View Entry

I wrote this in June 2009, 6 months into my recovery from depression.

INVISIBLE

my eyes face a new vision
as i wake each day
my mind faces a new battle
but in a new way

the battle used to be good vs. evil within me
and the two sides were be at odds frequently
but the new battle is to see life differently
i only live for good now and its clear
the evil is dead & in remission but there's always fear

the fear that i will not be strong... Read More

1 comments View Entry

I wrote this in May 2009, 5 months into my recovery from depression.

YELLOW

the road is a long one
and i doing my best to not come undone
and its a fight everyday to change
teaching my mind to re-arrange
thoughts that have been wrong for so long
and i am tired today and its tough to remain strong
cause i have so many issues that are lifelong
and i question why should i belong

cause when i am tired, i am weak
and the truth is tough to seek
an... Read More

0 comments View Entry

I wrote this in July 2009, 7 months into my recovery from depression.

 
DEMON
depression is a multi faceted demon
that shows no remorse for its victims
it hurts the ones that love you
it doesn't stop until you are dead
your lifeless body dead from sorrow
with no explanations to those left behind
left behind feeling helpless
always asking the question, why
you did your best to hide it from everyone
your insides slowly turned black
death was a wel... Read More

0 comments View Entry

I wrote this in July 2009, 7 months into my recovery from depression.

BLACK
BLACK monday
another week of hell in sight
BLACK tuesday
losing the battle, losing the fight
BLACK wednesday
losing weight, looking for the invite
BLACK thursday
existing in darkness with no flashlight
BLACK friday
end of the week, end of life, delight
BLACK saturday
another long drive to the shrink, all right
BLACK sunday
anxiety ridden, another sleepless night

... Read More

0 comments View Entry