As much reading, research, and treatment as I have done for this most recent bout of major depression, I don't think I really and truly completely thought of it as a valid disease... until now.

Today I got up, drank a cup of coffee and read the paper. I then showered and dressed, fixed my hair and put on jewelry, and went out in the world. Even my shoes matched. I went out to lunch (by myself, which is a big deal for me), went to the library, and then swung by the post office. At some point it dawned on me... I was having a "normal" day.

One of the first thoughts I had is that I wanted to share this on NKM2. Then, as I started thinking about what I would write, it suddenly sounded strange to me. I mean, successfully executing Activities of Daily Living is something you usually hear about during someone's recovery from an accident or physical injury.

And once again, the light bulb went off and I realized that I was, in fact, recovering from an illness. Just as if I had suffered a heart attack or a stroke. Here I am, a member of NKM2, and I am just now getting it. I guess I had a very narrow definition of stigma. To me it meant it something you just didn't talk about because people were uncomfortable with it. But it is more than that. It is a way of thinking; a mindset. In my case, the mindset that although the mental illness of depression may be classified as a disease, it is not like a "physical" illness. Sort of a "second-class" illness, if you will.

Of course with the knowledge that this is a real disease comes responsibility. Just as we would expect (or at least hope) that the person who had a heart attack or stroke would quit smoking, take blood pressure medication, exercise, etc., we too have a responsibility to ourselves and to encourage others to do the things that help us to recover, manage our disease, and prevent relapse.

I started this blog with the intent of sharing my small success with others and to possibly give hope. Two months ago I was ready to hang myself in the garage. Now I am on my way to being able to return to work. You can get better.

But there is a second message also. Mental illness is just as valid as physical illness. And if someone like me, who actually suffers from it, is just now understanding that, then we have a long way to go to get others to recognize that as well.

Thanks for letting me share

Steph

Tags: Stigma Mental Illness Depression